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Luther Snow

I love this, David. You were right, our work really overlaps. You pictures even look like mine (see pp 22, 87-92 of The Power of Asset Mapping).

So here's a challenge for you: what makes the cycle spin? That is, why do people choose to see and act on the "win-win" dynamic?

Hint: it's not win-win. Its win-win-win.

David Friedman

I think there are two different reasons that make people start the cycle.
1. Some people just desire to be of value to others. Some people just have this value, due to nature or nurture. I'd say most (in this group) get it from nurture -- they have experienced being on the receiving end of something like this and have adopted it as their ideal.
2. Some people start the cycle because they are self-interested but think that "enlightened self-interest" means putting the other person first; then, if they have their eyes open, they discover that there's a lot of joy (and greater benefits) from actually focusing on the other person, which is what keeps the cycle going. (BTW, if you start for this reason, you have to really commit to it -- if your "partners" think you are faking, they'll stop right away).
3. Some people-- more lately I think -- are beginning to focus on the larger wholes of which we are all a part. This leads to thinking of the good of the whole (e.g.,the community,the planet), which tips people towards thinking win-win in their bilateral interactions.

But I haven't mentioned "win-win-win" so I don't think I know what you think. So tell us all a little more

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